Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Gentle (?) Reminders

Addie, Isaac, Tripp and the caterpillar 
     The call came in late one afternoon.
     And I’d been dreading this one for awhile.
     “Hello, this is Dr. So-and-So’s office calling to set up Addison, Isaac, and Tripp’s appointment.”
     I guess I thought if I took a “don’t call us, we’ll call you” approach I’d never have to have this conversation with the receptionist at the dentist’s office.
     Of course not making the call could potentially result in a mean case of tooth decay, but all things considered, I was willing to take that risk.
     “Um, actually, it will just be Isaac and Tripp,” I said. “Addison passed away in March.”
     What I’d expected was silence.
     What I got was one of the most compassionate individuals I’ve ever encountered.
     She obviously took the time to express her sympathies, but then she went on. What happened? What symptoms did she have? And how are the boys dealing with it?
     Some may think this a bit obtrusive. Not me. I’m a mom and what mom doesn’t love talking about her kids (whether they’re right here with us or in the here-after)?
     So honestly, what could’ve really been a completely awful end to my day turned into one of the bright spots. Thank you, you wonderful woman at Dr. So-and-So’s office. I’ll be sure to get her name when we visit on Friday.
     Still, reminders of what we’ve lost continue to pop up in the strangest ways.
     Here’s a few other people, places and things that apparently didn’t get the memo.
     Justice. You know, the clothing store designed to meet the needs of 'tween girls everywhere.
    Thank you for continuing to send us your fliers and 40 percent off coupons.
     Could I simply call and ask them to take my name off the mailing list? Sure.
     But honestly, flipping through the flier makes me think of the many exchanges Addie and I had as we entered the store.
     It was always hit or miss for me.
     Sometimes we’d walk in and everything was just cute, cute, cute. So, a hit.
     Other times?
     Thank you, American Girl Doll.
     Even though we never purchased one of your dollies, you faithfully send us your literature and I still pick out the one that Addie and I always said looked most like her.
     And the DVR.
     You’ve been a wonderful addition to our family, recording all of our favorite shows.
     And you continue to record Addie’s favorite shows.
     Animal Cops Houston. Extreme Makeover Home Edition. I Shouldn’t Be Alive.
     Ironic, isn’t it? Because if there’s one person who should be alive, it’s my daughter.
     And you, iPad.
     It’s so nice of you to remind us that Addie’s online pets are being neglected.
     But, I have to admit, you are one of my most treasured electronic devices.
     After all, I look at you and I see Addie.
     First off, I haven’t wiped the fingerprints off the screen since all this happened.
     So mom’s a little crazy. Don’t judge.
     And second, that iPad has her apps, her notes, her videos, her voice.
     What more could I ask for really?
     Oh yeah. Her.

1 comment:

  1. Jamie - I love the wit and genuine, true-to-life moments you share on this blog. I am certain that each and every day brings a whole new set of challenges as you try to restore some sense of "normalcy" after losing Addie... I don't know how you begin to do that... I guess you figure it out day by day. I am sure your little girl is smiling down on you as she sees her mom and dad reach down deep to find the strength to make each day a little brighter than the day before. Keep the FAITH and know that Addie is with you every moment of every day! Keep writing... it restores the soul. Take care of you :-) Jeni