Messages to My Baby

Note: This is the first update I made to Addison's CarePages site. It was three days after she was diagnosed with cancer. By now we were in ICU. Doctors had worked hours upon hours to save her and she was alive. A day earlier a doctor had told us she would die. We never saw that doctor again. And on this day we were certain we would prove him wrong. 

Posted Mar 23, 2012 7:11am

"Goodbye, Addie. I love you."

"Love you too."

A simple exchange that happens between Addie and I every morning before school.

Good night, Goosie. I love you."

"Love you too, mom."

A night-time ritual between mother and daughter.

While miles of memories have run through my mind these past few days, it is the daily, every day exchanges that I keep coming back to. Addie has known love and shown love in her nine (almost 10) years. That continues through this challenge. When things were at their worst yesterday, I read 60 cards from her fourth-grade classmates. Why? To show her how much she's loved. I read messages off facebook from friends, family, and people we barely even know. Why? To show her how much she's loved. I surrounded her with various stuffed animals sent from friends and family both near and far. Why? To show her how much she's loved. I passed on the fact that various prayer chains had been activated and that literally thousands of people are pulling and praying for her. Why? To show her how much she's loved.

And so, the conversations continue. Why? I think you know the answer by now. But here's one more reason. One of my aunts relayed a story of a family friend who is an oncology nurse. Of course that's interesting given our current situation. But here's what really caught our attention. When she was 9 years old, this oncology nurse underwent cancer treatments just like Addie. While she too was sedated in the hopes of helping her to forget this trauma, she can recall the messages from loved ones. So our messages continue.

Please keep those messages and the prayers coming. They are absolutely appreciated.

Jamie