And I Was Doing So 'Well'

File this under "crappy things parents who've lost children have to do."

By now the file has gotten pretty thick, but I think there's room for one more item.

How about the Dependent Child(ren) Verification Form from my insurance company? Said form arrived in the mail today marked Open Immediately. So I did (well, after I looked through a couple of Christmas cards and shoved another piece of monkey bread in my mouth).

I figured it was the official paperwork to have Little Miss Landry added to our plan.

It wasn't.

Listed across the top of the form were three names: Addison, Isaac, and Tripp. My children (minus Landry of course). My dependents.

Well isn't that a punch to the gut?

I figured somebody in some office somewhere would have taken care of that after Addie passed (pretty sure I mentioned it to the rep on the phone when going over the medical bills). Or maybe this is their way of taking care of it.

I'm not going to lie. Seeing only Isaac and Tripp's name on the form would have sent me into a tail spin too. But this. This requires me to explain what happened, admit my child is gone. In writing.

I have to do it by February 22 or my dependents' coverage will be canceled. Trust me. I don't want to lose any insurance benefits. But I don't want to check the box that says "Voluntary Removal" either.

To me, voluntary removal indicates choice.

No parent would choose this.