Snow.
Lots of it.
The week before Christmas break.
Forecasters are predicting 8 inches in some areas. That, coupled with high winds, is going to make for some nasty conditions that could possibly result in a (dare I say) snow day tomorrow.
All I can say is thank goodness I'm on maternity leave ('cause I can't think of anything that could get the kiddos more riled up than the possibility of a snow day two days before school is supposed to let out).
And Isaac is one of those riled up kiddos.
"I can hardly wait!" he exclaimed as I tucked him in last night.
Can't hardly wait is right. He and Tripp were up at 6:30 this morning peeking out the windows. You can imagine their disappointment when they realized not a trace of snow had touched the ground.
I reassured Isaac the snow would most definitely come later today. After lunch, I said. It's now 2:11, there's no snow and he probably thinks I'm a big fat liar.
Oh well.
As a kindergartner, Isaac has yet to realize the beauty of a snow day. Let's face it. Getting a day off from school isn't even on his radar. He just wants to see snow.
Not Addie.
She loved snow days. Loved them. And realized what a gift they were.
She and I would sit with our eyes glued to the TV just waiting to see our school cancellations crawl across the bottom of the screen. Because snow days meant sleeping in (as much as an excited kid could stand to anyway) and staying in our jammies all day long.
So it will be interesting to see how things will pan out with this storm. I'm pretty sure the snow will come. And that makes me a little bit sad.
Because who's going to build snow forts with the boys tomorrow?
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| Tripp, Isaac, and Addie ready for the snow last February. |
I've got the baby to tend to, dad will be at work, and Addie's...
Gone.
Trust me, it's not like I ever forget that. But this is a "first" and anytime there's a first anything I know it's going to be a tougher day than most.
Because my mind will go back to better days and will inevitably settle on the last time we did this or did that as a family.
Like this day taken from Addie's journal:
Feb. 4 Sat.
Age: 9
It snowed finally a lot! We are going to make a fort.
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| Boys vs. Girls |
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| Dad gets in on the action. |
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| Getting ready to strike. |
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| Take that. |
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| And that. |
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| If I could live in this moment forever, I would. |
I know how you feel about those "firsts". WHile I know Asher is warm safe and sound in heaven, I can't help but think of his little body in the cold ground about to be covered in that first snow. : (
ReplyDeleteJamie and Jen, I so wish I could help you so you didn't have to hurt so much. You are beautiful Mom's with such pain. I sometimes will go back and read your blogs and wish I could write something that would move you to feel joy again instead of the hurt. I'll keep saying prayers for you boht and hope that all these first will become more... tolerable.
ReplyDeleteOh I can feel your pain right through this post. I wish I could take some of it for you. I lost my daughter as an infant and I can only imagine the pain of carrying years and years of memories. I will be thinking of you and your family as you continue to have to work your way through those awful "firsts."
ReplyDeleteSending love and hope through the interwebz. They are having a really fun snowball fight in heaven and your sweet girl is having a blast. She's watching over her brothers even if she can't be there to show them how to make the perfect snow fort this year.
ReplyDeleteI was sent here by Jessica of Four Plus an Angel. I have just been pouring over your blog with a lump in my throat. It's all too familiar to me. We lost our precious son Joey when he was six years old to cancer in 2010. I am so sorry about your beautiful Addie. I know exactly what you are feeling right now and how certain events, like the first snowfall, can bring up so many memories. For me, it can be as simple as a car driving by in his favorite color or a bear that I saw in Build-A-Bear last week that I know he would have loved. It's always something. I am wrapping you in the biggest most understanding mama hug I can. And - it looks like you are from Nebraska or are fans? I am in Nebraska, too! Sitting here looking out at all the snow and vividly remembering the last time Joey built snow forts. xoxo to you my friend, and may your family be comforted by beautiful memories this holiday. I will be checking back.
ReplyDeleteSending you hugs and lots of love this holiday season. I am very sorry for your loss. I hope and pray you find some comfort during the holidays.
ReplyDeleteOh I cried. I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful girl. Sending you hugs!
ReplyDeleteThis breaks my heart as the mom of a daughter who adores playing in the snow. Just two days ago, even though I hate playing outside in the snow, I went out with her, because I know there will come a day when I'll wish she was here to ask me; she's 17 and heading off to college next fall. Since I have a dear friend who lost her son at 17, I will not be that mom to whine about my empty nest next fall; I won't trivialize Molly's loss like that. Love and hugs to you...so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDelete