New Year

If I had it my way, I would've told 2012 where to go a long time ago.

But let's face it. This isn't Burger King. There's no getting it my way. And if there was, 2012 would've turned out a whole lot differently.

Don't get me wrong. There were some good moments. This one and this one come to mind.

But last year when I hung the 2012 calendar on our mudroom wall, this is not what I had in store for us.

So what did I have in mind?

Well, from the looks of the calendar, nothing too terribly special.

Basketball and BeLoved for Addie, plus piano lessons on Wednesday nights. Tumbling for Tripp and Isaac and a night class for me.

I'm sure the typical New Year's resolutions emerged on Jan. 1. Something about getting organized, losing a little weight, and making sure our finances were in order. After all, a trip to Disney was on the horizon, so we'd better get to saving.

There weren't plans for cancer.

And certainly not death.

I didn't think I'd have to tell two little boys that the big sister they hugged goodbye on Tuesday wasn't coming back.

Ever.

And I didn't picture myself having to say it again and again and again when they just don't understand.

So if you'd asked me last week I would've told you that 2013 couldn't come soon enough.

But now, on the eve of this new year, I'm not so sure.

Because there's one thing 2012 has over 2013.

And that's two months and 26 days with Addie.

***

As 2012 comes to a close, look forward and look back. Resolve or choose not to. And no matter how big your babies are, hug them tight.